Adlin Shazwani

Now There Are Only Memories.

Saturday, July 9, 2011 | 8:38 PM | 0 panda

She held me in her arms :')

3rd July 2011, 2 : 20 A.M

Assalamualaikum and hey to my fellow followers that I truly appreciate.

And also to you yang sanggup meluangkan masa untuk baca post ini. Last

Saturday, I went home to Kelantan because my Tok Mek ( grandma ) was sick.

She had a bad case of Pneumonia. Pneumonia is a respiratory condition in which

there is infection of the lung. She had a hard time breathing, and we ( the big family )

were having a hard time watching her go through that pain. It was harsh. I couldnt

bear to see her in pain. She meant alot to me. She was my only grandma that I was

close to. And now she's gone. Al-fatihah. We visited her on that Saturday evening,

she was still sleeping. Then, we went home and visited her again with my other

relatives that night. She was awake. Kitorang bacakan Yaasin untuk dia. My dad

said he rather see her die faster and without pain. I kept telling myself that

she would be okay. I said to myself " Have hope " but still, maybe my dad was

right. It was her time to go. I cried in the bathroom. I thought that crying was

wrong but everyone was crying so it was okay. Later that night at about 10 p.m

we went home to the house. It was a bad idea I think because my cousin woke me

up at 2 : 57 a.m and she told me she was gone. I felt lost. Empty. Then the

' Jenazah ' was brought to the house untuk mandikan and bacakan Yaasin.

Me and my relatives were crying our eyeballs out watching the ' jenazah'

carried infront of our eyes. My aunt hugged me. I cried AGAIN. She said it was

okay to cry. I just nodded and sulked. Some of my relatives read yaasin to her.

I just watched with my younger cousins. Then, I went to sleep. The next morning,

it was time for solat jenazah. We prayed for her and prayed may Allah ringankan

hukuman dia and place her in heaven. Amin. She was carried to the grave to

be burried. She was burried next to Tok Ayah ( my grandpa ) and my father

planted a tree on her so that we may recognize which was which. I missed her.

I missed the times that we had together. I just wish I spent some more time with her.

Well life is full of regret, so we need to appreciate what we have now. So the lesson

here is, SPEND MORE TIME WITH YOUR LOVED ONES. You never know when

or where they will go.

“You can shed tears that she is gone,
or you can smile because she has lived.
You can close your eyes and pray that she'll come back,
or you can open your eyes and see all she's left.
Your heart can be empty because you can't see her,
or you can be full of the love you shared.
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
You can remember her only that she is gone,
or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.
You can cry and close your mind,
be empty and turn your back.
Or you can do what she'd want:
smile, open your eyes, love and go on.”

Rest In Peace, Tok Mek.

We will miss you, ALWAYS.

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The Panda :)

Hello Earthlings! That cute little kitty is me hehe :3

Im Adlin,12 years old, I'm still Single but not available. Malaysian. Loves hanging out, shopping and playing games. Dislikes copycats and bitches. I love Allah, I love Rasulullah, I love my family and I love my prince charming :)